So here’s a life hack that is super tiny, yet so hard to implement. However, once you’ve climbed that initial hill this one’s a life changer for every aspect of your life.

Here’s the trick: Ask for what you want.

Thats it!

You may think that you’re doing this all the time but chances are you’re not. Chances are you’re beating around the bush. You struggle to clearly articulate what you want because you don’t feel entitled doing so. Or because it doesn’t seem appropriate. Or because that’s simply not how it’s done.

Sounds familiar? Chances are pretty high you’re just about now realizing you actually don’t ask for what you want. But you state something vague, in some futile hope that the receiving party in the conversation will magically undertand what you want.

“If I tell her about my achievements over the last year and I clearly articulate my passion for my work and also mention how eager I am to take on new responsibilities I will get that promotion”

If this is how you plan to discuss your promotion you’re relying an awful lot on external factors, rather than clearly owning what you want and clearly stating it.

“I want to be promoted because I think my achievements speaks to my capability and this promotion is an important next step for me in my career”

If you say something like this instead, no manager in the world can misunderstand what you actually want. And here’s the thing – Most people, managers included, like to help. So it’s pretty darn important to ensure you’re getting help with the right thing. Because here’s the second thing – you get what you ask for much more often than you think. It’s just that you’re not asking for what you want and you end up getting something else. Oftentimes you will eventually get something that looks something like what you originally wanted, but it will have taken longer because you’ve been relying on other people’s ability to understand what you really want.

Even in those cases where you don’t get what you want, even though you asked for it very specifically, there’s a huge benefit – You can now have a meaningful conversation about why you’re not getting what you wanted! Maybe your manager disagrees with you on whether you are ready for that promotion? That’s fine too, and now you can talk about the right things and you can learn what you need to do to be considered for a promotion. Your manager will also know of your career plans and may just help you out in any way they can.

While I’ve up to now examplified my point with examples from work and a coworker-manager type dynamic, this works equally well between loving partners in a relationship.

Disregarding your own self-censor, and challenging your notions of whether it is appropriate or not, a specifically articulated request for what you really want is oftentimes the only thing standing between you and what you wish for. Ask for what you want!